Grieving, RA and Loss

It hasn't been an easy week, I didn't grieve as much for my dad as I have for my mum, which surprises me. On top of this though my Rheumatoid has been such a pain literally, especially my left wrist that feels like it is broken, but is not,and because my right elbow is swollen, it is hard to use my right arm. Getting dressed is the first obstacle I have had to achieve every day, when pain levels and an increased sadness of losing my independence and my mother are at its highest. 

Both processes of grieving and RA, use up a lot of energy while trying to heal, and being in bed for 12 hrs a day seems to be the norm this week. We have also had an extremely cold weather shift so I suppose a few extra hours in the warmth is doing me more good than harm.
The afternoons are a lot easier and I found some painkillers mid week that my RA Dr. prescribed last year and these have helped to bring some of the inflammation down, while I wait for the new self injections to start in a fortnight.

All this difficulty has really bought home  how hard it is too deal with this house and back garden. The steps for one, cleaning another, it takes me a full day just to clean windows, and maintenance that doesn't get done. I really cannot understand why John stubbornly, doesn't want to move to a flat block and smaller more modern home, especially while we are still able to sell and pack up, and enjoy a new easier life at this stage, for his health is not much better. 

This is half of what was piled at the front door.

One nice thing that happened this week was my Daughter in Law picked up all the op shop boxes, and delivered them somewhere for me, along with a small amount she had herself. John had also picked up all of  mum's stuff so most of that went as well. Her car was packed to the roof, but I am ever so grateful for the help. Now on to another lot of decluttering, when I am able. Just sweeping the floor is hard enough for the moment. 

Miss P also came on Saturday, and she did everything on her own, once I explained, while  I sat in the sun to keep her company and pulled a few weeds. The potatoes had grown so high they desperately needed filling in, along with picking all the many, many limes off the tree.

One of many pots being filled

 

 Miss P also cut back a sprawling tomato plant, that was actually blocking a walkway, and after lunch she juiced most of the limes, filling a 4 litre container, which I then decanted by 2 cups into sandwich bags and froze. There is still about 20 of these left and they are very, very juicy. To finish the day

Miss P made a whole of lime cake and a choc chip coconut  slice. At 12 she is becoming quite a good cook.

Before Pruning

 

I asked John to prune back both trees to shoulder height and changed my mind to actually get rid of the lemon which is the tree on the right. One less thing to deal with.

He is not quite finished, and the wheely bin is full. I will probably just plant some flowers in the space may be a yellow daisy or similiar. I have also asked for my grandaughter to come back next week, as she has missed a day, with everything going on, and makes me feel so much better.

It is time to think about planting some seeds for Spring, in the starter pots, something I can actually manage, so this week will try and get my act together and do something positive.
Keep safe those in Victoria, Sydney, and my LA daughter, dealing with this virus wave.

 Till Next Time.

Farewell To My Mum

Sadly my mother passed away last Tuesday 28th.July the day before  my cousin Pam's birthday who died at 30, in 1982. Although my sister and I were allowed to visit several times this past fortnight, including the day she died, despite the lockdown, it has still come as a shock. She didn't know us of course, because of  Alzheimers Disease, and was usually asleep on visits for quite a while now.

I had arranged her funeral a year ago and I had forgotten we chose yellow flowers for it.

Pam's favorite colour was yellow and mum and my Aunty Betty (dad's sister) would always put yellow flowers like daffodils on her memorial every year.

Our daughter has done a wonderful video of her life and we found the above picture with a yellow rose. These too me, are amazing coincidences and from now on I will always think of Mum and Pam, who I was also close to being 3 weeks apart at birth, whenever I see yellow flowers.

During the week my lovely sewing ladies sent me some flowers, which was such a nice surprise.

7 of us attended the funeral, yesterday, but it was also available online for the USA,  Sydney and Victorian families and friends. I know mum was honored by her interstate families, by watching. We celebrated her life, by going out to lunch at our favorite restaurant in Urunga by the river where we had taken her many, many times for coffee.

                    Yvonne Marie McGrath 11/4/1933 to 28/7/2020

                                                    87 years old

Good bye mum, I love you.

Till next time.

Mum My Greatest Challenge.

Thursday afternoons my sister and I  visit mum. As I have mentioned before Mum has Alzeimers, occasionally she remembers who we are and I think this week was good. We take her out of the dementia ward and go to the front to have coffee in the garden there.

Outdoor Seating Area off the tiniest coffee shop

There is no conversation with us, Jan and I chat away, occasionally ask her questions for a nod or too as an answer, but even then not sure if she understands. Sad thing is the same group of ladies that have lived there and a gentlemen that we have got to know, are all declining at the same rate.It has been 2 years and 8 months now, and all want to go out the doors when we do.

Front Entrance Path, wanders right to another entrance.

Gardens are kept beautifully.

The nurses and carers have to let us out but always in tow are two or more escapees. So it is a trick to get through once the automatic key is swiped, especially trying with mum and a walker at the same time.

Mum June 2018

Mum and Jan Dec 2017

The latest has been no teeth in. We have never ever seen our mother like that till a few months ago she refuses to put them in. I personally think her mouth is getting smaller with age and they hurt. She doesn't like using utensils so if we get a bite to eat, it is usually a  large Byron Bay biscuits that we break up in pieces. A two handle mug also for mum. Twice now I have had to get a nurse to help, once she couldn't get up out of the chair after Jan went back to work, this week she let go of the walker and wouldn't take it again. A very dangerous move so I held on and Jan raced to get help. The decline has been rapid in the last 6 months. She will wander off suddenly, lose interest or just forget where she is, but always you can find her trying to get out of the side gate.

Violas

The gardens there are particularly lovely. Once a resident used to keep it and it was full of flowers everywhere. She left  and it went into a bit of a recline but now there is an young man, who comes in every week. It is looking neat and tidy and I noticed more flowers going in as well. Mum used to love the garden but now its just somewhere to endlessly walk around. She prefers getting outside away from everyone.

We are still jogging along with our own garden. The big decision with it is what to do with the paths so having looked at some rubber back false grass this is the way we are going. Our next step is to get the crusher dust first which will be on weed mat, then the grass on that. Drainage across the path   is also to be done, to stop the flood at the entrance itself.

Drain needed here.

It has been a busy week lots of different things going on, usually the garden, will catch up next time

Stay safe everyone.

Mother's Day 2018

I must admit, while the children were still at home Mother's Day was great, now a days it is a non event. I did get some flowers, but as there was no greeting on it I know not who from and if any of them ring, I shall ask. At 3pm though it is still a mystery.

My sister and I went and visited our mum last Thursday, with some slippers for her, but she didn't really know us and mumbles so we can't really understand what she says. So sad, a terrible way to get old.

I love the yellow, especially the roses.

In the meantime spent the morning as usual at the Community Garden. Not many turned up today and I watered every plant except the bank garden as I ran out of time. I also managed to plant several rows of turnips, beetroot and celeriac which is a new one for me. When we arrived home at lunchtime what a surprise to see the flowers on the verandah bench.

Having spent the last two days helping get our own new beds going, I am certainly feeling the tiredness now.



The first bed

The first wood bed is doing well, I have discovered that the black mesh still lets the white butterfly in so spending too much time looking for eggs and caterpillars. I have asked John to change over to vegenet instead. The ends are stapled on to pieces of wood, to the width of each section, and can be rolled up when not in use. The wood strip placed on the ledge and the fabric thrown over to the other side, with the 2nd. wood strip. A special one will be made for the ends.



The back bed

Three new beds.

This is how the three left hand side beds look now, middle one still being filled. The back one is half planted up with brassicas. The fence line ones still need more weeding and soil. The back right hand brick one is the new herb bed.

New Herb Bed

The herb bed I have transplanted what I need from across the path from the old one. Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano, parsley, Chilli and Salad Burnet. I have still to plant Basil. Most likely I will also plant alyssum and maybe marigold in the spaces left.

Old Herb Bed

The old one was full of nut grass and couch and needed a good clean out, before we put good soil in. I don't  ever expect to get rid of the nut grass, but this will help. I am still working on this one.

Well another knock at the door with a delivery of more flowers, this time with a greeting from our eldest daughter, so I suspect the first one is from our youngest in America. The three boys most likely will ring tonight.

More pink in this one.

With the weather being so cold at night there has been some fantastic sunsets, this is two of some  I took last week, off the back verandah.



Distance



A bit closer

Hope all the mothers had a lovely day.

Till Next Time.

Mum's Christmas 2017

The Christmas Party held at Mum's Nursing home this year was held in two separate areas. The elderly in their large dining room and the dementia ward had theirs in the small dining room in the secured area. The verandah off the main area was being repaired so room for extra people wasn't available.

Tree squashed into the corner

Something different this year for the wall.

One visitor per patient is allowed but we sneaked my sister in during her lunch hour. I am not sure if  Mum knew what was happening that day but still we made her smile and Santa came, we then moved to a quieter area in the garden for a hour.

Daylilly

Mum and Jan enjoying the afternoon.

This is a small garden off the dining room.

 I am pretty sure there were moments of knowing us, and finally one of the nurses took her off to the bathroom and she left without any problem and we were forgotten as was the lunch. Such is the Disease.

Merry Christmas

Today, 4 days later,  we decided to take her out to a local cafe. Getting her in  and out of the car was difficult, the brain didn't know which way to turn, or which leg to put in first, and we eventually managed. She knew us and loved the teddy bear we gave her for Christmas, and enjoyed cake and coffee.

Jan added her name, as things tend to wander from room to room. The hat is a communal one.

Then a walk back to the car via a ramp and 3 small steps down, which was very difficult for her to negotiate. We managed all right going up. These little things is enough to not go out anymore and the incontinence which is now at a difficult level, and the need to take towels for the car seat etc.
So on arriving back, the nurse whipped her off to the bathroom, and we sat in the lounge for 10 mins. and left. Mum again just heading off in the opposite direction and we were forgotten. We will both be with family till New Year and once more we will catch up with mum again and see what 2018 brings.

The Three Girls.

One thing for sure, we are seeing her every week more than we ever did when Mum and Dad were living 2 - 3 days travel away. She is the last of her whole family on both Mum and Dad's side, and I am glad we have these last few years with her despite the problems. Your mum is still your mum and we love her.


Our Christmas is now upon us, I hope you all have a lovely time whether on your own or with family and friends.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Till Next Time.

Mum's Birthday Treat and My Overgrown Garden

Every year we take Mum to a little restaurant at Nana Glen. It seems in the middle of no where, but a nice fairly long drive through the hills around Coffs Harbour to this tiny town. It has a winery, several farms with  shops and a post office, general store and this restaurant, Kafe Kookaburra. It has become a bit of a tradition as it seems mum's birthday was always when they visited us.

My Mum Yvonne

It also happens to be John's birthday same month of  April and our two daughters, so we celebrate for all. Mum was 84 and probably completely forgotten the day, but we remember for her.

Mum and her two girls

We have found in the past weeks since coming home, that mum now, doesn't remember us even taking her out 10 mins before to a local coffee shop, and is expecting to "go out" when we just got back. So hard to see it happening, her whole life married for 63 years and 4 children all gone. The sooner they get a grip on Dementia and Alzheimer's the better.

Birthday Pals

My garden on the other hand is an absolute overgrown mess after all the rain.
 Pumpkin vines growing madly through the golden shallots

Shallot Bed Needs Sorting

 As it is sub tropical not really cold so everything has gone mad. Basil seedlings were growing in the stoney path, sweet potato vine all over the place.

All the basil plants went to seed.

Orange daisy now in the path as well as the lettuce bed.

It is a lovely colour the orange daisy.

Forget the lettuces they all went to seed. I forgot I had draped an old lettuce over the bean frame and it seems to have liked the rain.

Never seen so many seedlings in one space before.

 One good thing though the dahlias were magnificent.

Love the colour ,pale pink ones nowhere to be seen. Think I lost them.

So on that note, will catch up next time, I have a ton of work to do.

Stay safe.

Family Day Out

We have just had a wonderful day with all the grandchildren at our eldest son's place. The 2nd son and family in tow, were on their way back from the Gold Coast to Sydney and stayed 2 nights before going home. As it was better to give all 8 children a place to run without having to worry about water, the acre was a good place.

I went and got mum from the nursing home, and we included her in as best as possible. 
On the menu was cold chicken, green salad, cucumber salad, crunchy bread sticks and homemade olives, kimchee, and a roasted  yellow beetroot dip. We played 500 after lunch while the children delved into face painting.

Roasted Yellow  Beetroot Dip

Later we watched a movie and I took mum home about 4.30, hoping that a long family day would do her a world of good, but again I had trouble leaving and she put up a fight and claiming she hadn't seen me for years, while the nurse with arms outstretched by the door, prevented her coming out to the car to wave goodbye. Mind you we had just left the car 5 mins earlier and no matter what I say she wants to do the waving outside.

Family photo with all the great grandkids.

The trouble is the nurses don't have time to indulge in walking her to the front and back again. We tried waving from the outside garden gate, from which she could see the car, but now have been banned from that.

Unfortunately mum has been wheeling her walker to the outside garden gate and trying to climb over. Once also, a  nurse on her way home found mum in the car park. Somehow she had managed to get let out by a visitor, despite warnings on the door that such a thing could happen.  Mum does not make it easy to visit. Dementia is so awful, and the last couple of weeks it has been recognised again Australia wide.

It was a lovely day and Sunday the family all left early and I washed all the sheets and towels, straight away, being nice warm weather, only to have a mad dash in the afternoon as it started to rain. So I gave up for the day and did some sewing.

Till next time.

Year 1 Anniversary of the Blog

Today, this time last year,  I began this blog, exactly five days after my birthday. So having just celebrated with a night out, I thought I would quickly note a few statistics, that you get through Blogger. I had set myself a challenge back then, to do this blog at least for a year, and really pleased I made it and didn't give up.

I like challenges, and feeling sentimental today, photos are actually for my children.

First there was one 1974

Then there were two 1975

So.......... Blogging twice a week can get a little hard, with finding something to talk about. How 7 day bloggers do it is a mystery, and not for me. Even twice a week is sometimes a challenge as well.  I hope you the reader have found it interesting and perhaps helpful. I will keep going for another year, and one day John and my grandchildren may look back on it with interest. I am wondering whether to keep it in digital form only or copy and paste each entry into a book. If anyone else has thought on this, please let me know.

Then there were 3 1978

Then there were 4 1979

 And ....... "roll of the drums" please.

Statistics.

COUNTRIES :    Highest to Lowest: Australia, America, Russia, France, England, Canada,                                                                            New Zealand, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Belgium
PAGE VIEWS:    3287

POSTS:           This one is number 70

TOP 5 BLOGS:  The Great Ocean Road. Part one,
                            The Great Ocean Road. Part two.
                            The Strawberry Tower.
                            The Great Ocean Road Part three.
                            It's Filofax Planner Time; free printable.

I have no idea if these results are good or bad, but for me I am very pleased with them. There were 62 comments also, which is always nice. Speaking of statistics, here is the family one.

And then there were 5 and I got my two girls lol. 1984, Happy Birthday No.1 Son.

My new birthday challenge this year is to paint and re-do my Craft Room and a Tiny Sewing Room. I have put it off for so long now, probably 2-3 years,  and I can barely move in them to do my scrap booking or sewing, and usually end up on the dining room table. Bought the paint today and a couple of new lights, so stay tuned.

A big thank you everyone, for reading, and commenting, this past year.  Keep it up.

Till next time.